"How are you going to socialize your kids?" "What about socialization?"
The bane of every homeschool family's existence. We get asked these questions ALL THE TIME.
What is socialization? I typed that into my search engine and this came up under free dictionary. Bear with me. Click the link. Read it. All of it.
Did you read it all? Make sure you did. I'm going to hit you with some things I thought very important.
One of the first things that really stood out to me is that this word is associated with forming of government. "1. To place under government or group ownership or control" "
the establishment of socialist government; the nationalization of industry and other national resources.
See also: Communism"
Wait? What??? See Communism? When you ask me, "What about socialization?", can I come back and reply, "You want my child to form a communist government." Can you imagine the stares and responses I would get with that?
I like this definition best.
The SHAPING of human behavior through EXPERIENCE. Adapting an individual to the norms of society.
THIS is what socialization is when you ask me "What about socialization?" Does it say my child needs to be in a classroom with children all the same age? No. Does it say my child will be withdrawn and closed minded because he isn't with other kids for 8-9 hours a day? No.
Socialization for us is teaching my children how to behave in different settings. At our home, you follow rules A, B and C. At the neighbor's house, you follow A, B, D, and E. At Church you do A, B, C, F, N, and Z. At the Library, you. . . you get the picture. Every where you go has a different set of rules. At the grocery store my kids are supposed to keep one hand on the cart at all times that we are moving. And even times when we are not such as standing in line. Yes. My kids learn how to stand in line and take turns. This happens every where you go. You get in the car. You need to turn left. It's a red light. What do you do? Wait in line and take your turn when it's safe. You go to the grocery store. Do you go to the front of the line? No. You wait and take your turn. My kids don't need to be in school to learn how to stand in line and take turns. This happens every where and every day. Even at home. Cody screams, "I want to swing and Austin's not letting me!!!!" Me. "Austin? Are you done swinging? No? Okay. When you are done please let Cody have it next." And guess what. Cody waits his turn, sometimes unhappily, but still waits, and eventually, Austin gets off and gives it to Cody.
Socialization means learning what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in various places. Is it okay to scream in Church? No. Is it okay to run and play loud at the park? Yes. When someone pushes you at the library, do you push back? No. Do you help the child who is shy by giving her a puppet? Yes. When you knock someone down, how do you apologize with your words AND your actions?
This is socialization. Not sitting in a classroom with 29 more kids the same age.
My kids have PLENTY of play time with other kids in various ages. We have cousins we see frequently. My oldest is one of the oldest. Does he play well with the younger ones? YEP! He has no choice sometimes! We have multiple neighbors in the same age ranges. We have random spur of the moment play dates. And babysitting when one of the parents is sick or has to work. We have library story time once a week. Most of the kids are in the 2-4 year old range. But my older ones enjoy it just the same. Soon we will be starting gymnastics again. And Austin will start CCD in the fall, and Audrey wants to be a Daisy girl scout.
Please stop asking homeschooling parents about socialization. Trust me. Every day life socializes our kids plenty! When you are a homeschooling parent, there's no grocery store by yourself while the kids are in school. Your kids go with you everywhere. One kid is sick and needs to go to the doctor, they all go. They learn to sit where you tell them and not touch anything especially the toy that everyone wants to play with that you just KNOW there's tons of germs on it. When YOU have a dentist appointment, you give them a heads up that you area bringing all the kids. You try to schedule it during the baby's naptime so he will sleep in the stroller and you hold your 3 year old on your lap while you are getting cleaned so he can watch the movie they set up for him and your 5 and 6 year old have their heads together over the Ipad. Our kids learn from every day experiences. They learn from me. They learn to do as I do and do as I say. I'm not training my kids to be a communist. I'm raising them to be respectful. To open the door for others no matter their age. To say please and thank you. To wait their turn. To play nice with everyone. To say sorry, with words and actions, when appropriate.
Stop asking about socialization. They are getting it just fine.
I like this definition best.
socialization
1. The shaping of human behavior through experience in social institutions.
2. The process by which an individual, especially a child, becomes adapted to the norms of society.
Dictionary of Unfamiliar Words by Diagram Group Copyright © 2008 by Diagram Visual Information Limited
The SHAPING of human behavior through EXPERIENCE. Adapting an individual to the norms of society. THIS is what socialization is when you ask me "What about socialization?" Does it say my child needs to be in a classroom with children all the same age? No. Does it say my child will be withdrawn and closed minded because he isn't with other kids for 8-9 hours a day? No.
Socialization for us is teaching my children how to behave in different settings. At our home, you follow rules A, B and C. At the neighbor's house, you follow A, B, D, and E. At Church you do A, B, C, F, N, and Z. At the Library, you. . . you get the picture. Every where you go has a different set of rules. At the grocery store my kids are supposed to keep one hand on the cart at all times that we are moving. And even times when we are not such as standing in line. Yes. My kids learn how to stand in line and take turns. This happens every where you go. You get in the car. You need to turn left. It's a red light. What do you do? Wait in line and take your turn when it's safe. You go to the grocery store. Do you go to the front of the line? No. You wait and take your turn. My kids don't need to be in school to learn how to stand in line and take turns. This happens every where and every day. Even at home. Cody screams, "I want to swing and Austin's not letting me!!!!" Me. "Austin? Are you done swinging? No? Okay. When you are done please let Cody have it next." And guess what. Cody waits his turn, sometimes unhappily, but still waits, and eventually, Austin gets off and gives it to Cody.
Socialization means learning what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in various places. Is it okay to scream in Church? No. Is it okay to run and play loud at the park? Yes. When someone pushes you at the library, do you push back? No. Do you help the child who is shy by giving her a puppet? Yes. When you knock someone down, how do you apologize with your words AND your actions?
This is socialization. Not sitting in a classroom with 29 more kids the same age.
My kids have PLENTY of play time with other kids in various ages. We have cousins we see frequently. My oldest is one of the oldest. Does he play well with the younger ones? YEP! He has no choice sometimes! We have multiple neighbors in the same age ranges. We have random spur of the moment play dates. And babysitting when one of the parents is sick or has to work. We have library story time once a week. Most of the kids are in the 2-4 year old range. But my older ones enjoy it just the same. Soon we will be starting gymnastics again. And Austin will start CCD in the fall, and Audrey wants to be a Daisy girl scout.
Please stop asking homeschooling parents about socialization. Trust me. Every day life socializes our kids plenty! When you are a homeschooling parent, there's no grocery store by yourself while the kids are in school. Your kids go with you everywhere. One kid is sick and needs to go to the doctor, they all go. They learn to sit where you tell them and not touch anything especially the toy that everyone wants to play with that you just KNOW there's tons of germs on it. When YOU have a dentist appointment, you give them a heads up that you area bringing all the kids. You try to schedule it during the baby's naptime so he will sleep in the stroller and you hold your 3 year old on your lap while you are getting cleaned so he can watch the movie they set up for him and your 5 and 6 year old have their heads together over the Ipad. Our kids learn from every day experiences. They learn from me. They learn to do as I do and do as I say. I'm not training my kids to be a communist. I'm raising them to be respectful. To open the door for others no matter their age. To say please and thank you. To wait their turn. To play nice with everyone. To say sorry, with words and actions, when appropriate.
Stop asking about socialization. They are getting it just fine.
